By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D Author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior"

Shopping is a pain, malls are crammed, and there are no parking places. Cookies, candies, eggnog and other goodies are making you fat. You have to buy a gift for someone you don't particularly like and grumble all way. You need to buy another useless gift for your "so-called" friend. Your "inner brat" will tell you to go ahead and eat everything you want - after all, it's holidays, and you deserve it!

TAMING YOUR INNER BRAT

What is inner brat? It's seemingly irresistible, impulsive force inside every one of us, that makes us say and do things we later regret. Bad habits, problem tempers and other self-defeating behaviors and thoughts are products of inner brat.

A voice inside you screams, "I want it!" or "I can't stand it!" or "Why me?!" Sound familiar? That's your inner brat. The bad news is that you can never completely get rid of your inner brat. It not only makes you miserable, but it also sets a poor example for your children.

The good news, however, is that you can learn to tame your inner brat.

IT STARTS WITH YOU

The holidays present a gold mine of opportunities for your inner brat to make a pest of itself. Because of hectic nature of season, there are more situations that make you edgy and irritated - malls are crowded, and parking lots are full. Your inner brat insists that you should be able to park wherever you want, buy whatever you want and never have to wait more than 30 seconds. Shopping is a pain, even on Internet, where connections are slow at popular merchandise sites. If you pay too much attention to this voice in back of your mind, you'll end up frustrated and angry.

Another set of inner brat opportunities is in endless temptation of food and drink during this month. All around you are cookies, candies, wine, eggnog and other seasonal goodies. Your inner brat tells you to go ahead and eat and drink everything you want. After all, it's holidays, and you deserve it.

Your thoughts become words, your words become actions and your actions become your destiny. Someone else came up with that, but I've always remembered it because it's true. Our actions show who we truly are and how shallow or deep our character is.

Where you are today is a direct reflection of words, thoughts and actions you took days, months and years ago. No matter how much some people blame their parents,teachers, where they grew up, television, government or anything else, truth is that nobody got them where they are today but themselves. The longer we choose to not take responsibility for our lives, longer we'll living uninspired lives that we don't love.

I've heard 40 year old adults who complain about their lives and take no responsiblility for what they've created. Give me a break. If you think you're on recieving end of life you're mistaken and too lazy to do anything about it.

Simply think about pictures you've seen on TV of people in third world countries. When I start to get mad about having to stand behind two people in a line at grocery store I remind myself that a lot of people don't even know where their food will come from tonight. This shifts me from anger to gratitude.

The next time you notice yourself getting frustrated or angry about something in your life I invite you to shift your focus onto what's great in your life. It doesn't matter if you think you don't have enough money or you're mad at your dog for chewing up a shoe. Remember how much love you get from having your dog in first place and how your weekly earnings are more than some people make in a month or year.

Keep your focus on what is working - for you and for others. We are bombarded with negative input all day long. We need to watch what goes in because our livlihoods depend on what we creatively crank out. Our heads need to be full of positive inspiration or free space where we can dream.

A recent study revealed that people who watch most television news are most fearful in our society. Crime has been going down in America for over a decade, but since news focuses on it and repeats it over and over, a lot of people are receiving multiple messages that world isn't safe. These people end up being less confident and less successful as a result of being emotinally paralyzed to a degree by their fears.